Jacked Up

"Two drifters off to see the world; there's such a lot of world to see. We're after the same rainbow's end. It's just around the bend, my huckleberry friend." -- Henry Mancini and Johnny Mercer

New York City experienced a heat index of 110 yesterday, but instead of spending the day in front of the AC in shorts, I braved the weather and the subway system to patronize the Union Square greenmarket. Most of the fruits and vegetables I examined looked pathetic and wilted because of the heat, but by some miracle, I found a basket of perfect red currants.

I brought them home and decided to turn them into red currant mini-muffins, but halfway through adding the ingredients to a mixing bowl, I realized that I was craving chocolate. So, inspired by my new favorite Lindt chocolate flavor and this amazing cake on Epicurious, I broke out the cocoa powder and a bottle of Jack.

I've been in a rut with baking experiments lately, but these mini muffins turned out amazing. The whiskey made the chocolate flavor more complex, and the currants provided a little pop of tartness in every bite. These tasted even better the next day, so I'd recommend waiting overnight before enjoying them (or, if you're impatient, leaving the tray in front of the AC for twenty minutes when they come out of the oven... not that I did that last night, cough). You can also substitute a shot of orange juice or espresso for the whiskey in a pinch.

Red Currant Mini Muffins... With Chocolate and Whiskey

3/4 stick salted butter, softened

2 tbsp olive oil

3/4 cup sugar

1/4 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg

1 tbsp baking powder

1 cup flour

1/4 cup cocoa powder

1 shot of whiskey

1 cup red currants, stems removed and washed

Confectioner's sugar, for dusting

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Beat butter, olive oil, and sugar until fluffy, then beat in eggs, whiskey, and vanilla. Add baking powder, flour, and cocoa powder and mix until incorporated. Stir in red currants. Spoon into greased or lined miniature muffin trays; cups should be nearly full. Bake for 22 minutes or until muffin tops are browned. When muffins have cooled, remove from trays, arrange on a plate, and dust with confectioner's sugar. Makes thirty miniature muffins. (This will also make a dozen regular muffins -- bake for about 30 minutes instead, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.) These also taste better the next day, so patience is a virtue.

Trios

"You treat me like I'm a princess. I'm not used to liking that. You ask how my day was." -- Alanis Morissette

On my way to work yesterday morning, I shared a subway pole with three other women. They did not appear to know each other. All three women held books. One was reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, one was reading The Girl Who Played With Fire, and the last was reading The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest.

On my way home from work yesterday evening, I shared a subway pole with three other women. They did not appear to know each other. All three women were listening to iPods. One's iPod screen displayed the cover art of Glee: The Music, Volume 2, one's screen displayed Glee: The Power Of Madonna, and the last's screen displayed Glee: Showstoppers.

Photomosaic

"Don't you love farce? My fault, I fear. I thought that you want what I want -- sorry, my dear." -- Stephen Sondheim


I began writing this post in late 2008, saved it, and never published it. Tonight, while going back through all of my old blog posts to tag my entries by topic, I discovered the original draft and decided to rework it.

Instructions: Type your answer to each question into a Flick'r search. Using only the first page, pick an image. Copy and paste each of the URLs in the Mosaic Maker.

1. What is your first name?
2. What is your favorite food?
3. What high school did you go to?
4. What is your favorite color?
5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. What is your favorite drink?
7. What is your dream vacation?
8. What is your favorite dessert?
9. What do you want to do when you grow up?
10. Whom/what do you love most in life?
11. Choose one word that describes you?
12. What is your Flick'r name?


Most of these are obvious, but some ended up pretty strange. The bridge represents the color black. The ostrich indicates sarcasm. People with my first name like umbrellas. The ice cream is actually hazelnut gelato. And oddly enough, the coolest image associated with my answer to #3 was Rutila's version of the same photomosaic.


And yes, all of my past blog entries are now tagged by topic. Posts with recipes, music, the Yankees, soapbox rants, NYC stories, blatantly obvious double meanings, my many doppelgangers, etcetera ad nauseam all have a separate label in the sidebar, so have fun clicking.

Dinner With Friends

"I'm back with scars to show. Back to the streets I know. They never take me anywhere but here." -- The Weakerthans

I spent the weekend in DC, and to my surprise, the weather was mild and completely bearable. Of course, it was probably only bearable because it rained for most of Saturday. The rain didn't turn into a brilliant sunny day until late afternoon, so when that finally happened, I took a walk to the supermarket to grab some groceries for chicken cacciatore with farfalle, roasted broccoli, and bruschetta. Everything came together in an hour and I got a request to steal the recipes after we finished eating, so to make that process easier, I'm posting them here. Make the chicken first, then prepare the bruschetta topping, then make the broccoli, then finish preparing the bruschetta, then serve everything together.

Chicken Cacciatore with Farfalle

1 pound farfalle (bowtie) pasta

1 pound chicken cutlets

1 large (24 oz) can chopped tomatoes

Small basket of mushrooms, sliced

1/2 cup marsala wine

Five large basil leaves, shredded

1/2 tsp oregano

5 cloves garlic minced

1/2 large white onion, chopped

Pinch of salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Coat the bottom of a 9 x 13 baking dish with olive oil. Wash chicken and place in one layer in the bottom of the baking dish. Sprinkle on salt, pepper, oregano, and basil. Dump onion, garlic, and mushrooms on top of the chicken. Pour in the wine. Dump tomatoes on top of everything. Bake for one hour. Remove from oven and, using a knife and fork, shred the chicken into manageable pieces.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Prepare farfalle as you see fit, then drain pasta and mix with chicken cacciatore. Makes a formidable vat of pasta that can easily feed four hungry people.

Bruschetta

Half a loaf of Italian bread, sliced into 3/4" pieces

1 clove of garlic

1/4 white onion

2 plum tomatoes, diced

5 shredded basil leaves

Pinch of salt

1 tbsp olive oil

4 tbsp shredded parmesan cheese

Cut the clove of garlic in half -- reserve one piece and slice the other. Combine tomatoes, onion, basil, salt, olive oil, and sliced garlic in a small bowl and allow to marinate for 20 minutes, stirring occasionally.

Lightly toast Italian bread slices, then rub one side of each slice with the half-clove of garlic. Top each slice with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. Toast slices in the oven or a toaster oven until the crusts brown and the cheese melts. Allow slices to cool, then spoon some tomato mixture atop each slice. Serves four as an appetizer.

Easy Roasted Broccoli

1 large head broccoli, washed, with stem removed

Salt, pepper, olive oil

Toss broccoli florets in salt, pepper, and olive oil. Place on a baking sheet and roast at 375 degrees for 15 minutes. Serves however many people are capable of eating a head of broccoli.

Three Slices

"My advice is stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong... and there's no aspect, no facet, no moment in life that can't be improved with pizza. Thank you." -- Daria Morgendorffer

I spent my morning in SoHo with Rutila, and by accident, our shopping trip was perfectly timed from beginning to end. She caught her bus, I caught my train, we arrived at 10 AM when the stores were opening and the streets were blissfully empty, we arrived at Lombardi's Pizzeria when the place had just opened, and we finished for the day just when Broadway started to get crowded. In commemoration of the three delicious slices of calamata olive and spinach pizza each of us consumed, I'm writing about three slices of our day.

1. Because I'm a crazy woman when it comes to makeup, skincare, and hair products, I had enough Sephora Beauty Insider points saved up to earn a 500 Point Perk today. (You get one "point" in your bank for every dollar you spend. Yep, I have a problem.) Anyway, my perk was a little shopping bag full of Benefit Cosmetics goodies, including a sample size of BADGal Plum mascara. It's a warm purple color designed to enhance one's eye color, but since I live and die by black mascara and black liquid liner, I was naturally skeptical. Miraculously, it works -- my normally nondescript brown eyes looked wider and more striking than usual today.

2. I purchased two cotton tanks -- one black and one slate blue -- at Uniqlo. The cut and quality felt identical to the J. Crew tank I was wearing... and they cost $4.90 apiece. I'm not sure if this is an indication of Uniqlo's general amazingness or J. Crew's slipping standards.

3. As always, Rutila and I lunched at Lombardi's, the oldest pizzeria in America and purveyor of the best coal-oven pie you'll ever devour. We arrived when the shop opened and shared a dining room with a crowd of about twenty visor-wearing, fanny pack-toting tourists. This normally isn't a problem, but we soon discovered that these tourists were on a pizza tour. Meaning they were accompanied by an overeager tour guide who spent half of our meal loudly delivering a lecture on all the crap you never wanted to learn about pizza. We heard about the pizza of New York City, the history of pizza, the composition of pizza, and the importance of staying hydrated while consuming pizza. The tourists were given pizza journals to record their undoubtedly profound observations about pizza, took turns visiting the kitchen to see the coal oven where the pizzas are made, and were instructed to look at the bottom crusts of their pizzas to observe the charring patterns.

Naturally, Rutila and I guffawed into our Italian sodas the entire time. We then began to chuckle audibly when the tour guide demonstrated "the semi-fold method" of eating a triangle slice -- which, allegedly, is the only way to eat pizza like a true New Yorker.

Note that Rutila and I were using knives and forks to eat our slices... and you can't get more Noo Yawk than the pair of us.

The tour guide then confided that the semi-fold method works on a scientific level "because it changes the moment of inertia of the slice." Yep. Cue the huge, ridiculous belly-laughs which earned us at least one withering glare from the tour guide.

And in an example of why the universe sucks, the pizzeria's top review on Yelp is written by some out-of-towner who calls herself a NY pizza expert after taking the same tour we overheard today! Hence the reason why Lombardi's mediocre website, not Yelp, is linked in this post. Too much asshattery for my taste.

Crab Gravy

"I am on your side. This house is empty. We could cross the line... yeah, we could make a big mistake. The silence breaks and you hear me say, 'Don't go! Don't go so far away!'" -- Jack's Mannequin

It's summer! Summer equals fishing trips, which equals fresh seafood -- and, last weekend, summer equaled someone handing me ten feisty blue crabs in a Hefty bag. They were too beautiful to turn into crab rolls or crab cakes, so I cooked them, cleaned them, and decided to use them in a pasta dish. (This decision also meant that my dinner guests, not me, would be responsible for shelling those bad boys. Score!)

I made crab gravy last night, and since it's my favorite way of eating crabs that doesn't involve frying or mayonnaise, I'm sharing it here. This dish is a bit labor-intensive, but it yields a sweet, delicate, flavorful tomato sauce that can't be matched by any other method. Add a vegetable and/or a big salad and you've got yourself an amazing meal. This recipe makes a pretty huge vat of gravy, so definitely halve it if you're feeding fewer than four people. You can also substitute shrimp for crabs -- or three cans of lump crab meat for whole crabs -- in a pinch.

If you've never cooked and cleaned live crabs before, read this for a quick-and-dirty primer.

Crab Gravy with Linguine

Enough whole crabs to feed six people, cooked and cleaned

Half a large white onion

Six cloves garlic

1/2 stick butter

1/2 cup white wine

2 tbsp lemon juice

1 24-oz (1 lb) can chopped tomatoes

1 24-oz (1 lb) can pureed tomatoes

1 tsp chili powder

1 tsp Old Bay seasoning

1 tbsp chopped fresh parsley

Pinch of salt and black pepper

1 lb linguine

Chop the onion and garlic. Add to the largest pot you own and sautee in butter until the onions become translucent and the garlic starts to brown. Add white wine and lemon juice and simmer for five minutes, then add tomatoes, one cup of water, and seasonings. Stir well and bring to a boil, then add the crabs to the pot, submerge in the sauce, and cover. Cook for one hour, stirring occasionally.

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add the linguine and cook to your preference. Strain cooked linguine into a large bowl and spoon crab gravy over the top. Feeds six hungry people, or four hungry people with leftovers. (You won't mind eating this one two nights in a row, though.) Make sure to have a nutcracker or a hammer handy so you can attack those crabs properly.