The Lichtenstein Project: Part 1

"In America, the biggest is the best." -- Roy Lichtenstein

I love pop art. I chose the color scheme of my apartment based on a piece of pop art, my friends buy me pop art for my birthday, and I've even tried to create pop art self-portraits.

I have a lot of blank walls at the moment and not enough artwork to fill them all, so I decided to invest in a print -- the hugest print I could find -- of my favorite pop art painting: M-Maybe by Roy Lichtenstein.

The hugest print I could find, however, was a measly 31" x 31". And the cheapest ones I could find were all upwards of $50. Unframed. Minus shipping.

I'm an artist and I never buy anything I can't make myself, so my path forward was clear.

Trouble is, according to my lease, I can't paint my apartment. And even if I wanted to slap some color on my walls and risk the inability to turn them pure-white again, I certainly can't paint an actual mural on them. Flat color is one thing, but you can't make brush strokes vanish with primer and a prayer.

I brainstormed. I tested. I Googled. And then, while writing a shopping list in chalk on my kitchen wall -- which features a retro rocketship design cut out of chalkboard-surface contact paper -- I thought of a solution. Why not cover my walls in clear contact paper and paint over that? Then, if I get tired of my artwork or need to remove it for any reason, I can just peel it off!

Last night, I stopped off at my local junk store and bought 27 feet of clear contact paper, bottles of acrylic paint in black, white, and the three primary colors, and a bunch of sponge brushes. Grand total: $26.74. I papered my entryway wall in plastic, smoothed out all the bumps, and started sketching.

I laid down the large blocks of color first. Then I laid down the Ben-Day dots by hand using an old Burt's Bees chapstick tube as a stamp. (This alone took two hours... no wonder Roy made his Ben-Day dots with a stencil instead of trying to do them freehand!) Then I "inked" the lineart using a narrow sponge and a lot of black paint.

It's only half-finished, but I'm loving the results so far.

Tonight, I need to borrow a ladder from somewhere. Stay tuned...

Science is Delicious

"Better living through chemistry." -- Nietzsche

 

 

The following is the transcript of an actual email exchange between a few members of my team. We understood each other perfectly without resorting to Google, though I can't tell whether that's a credit to our knowledge of chemistry or our knowledge of each other's snack cravings...

 

Coworker 1: Anyone want to go get some iced ?

 

Coworker 2: I was just about to go get  at Gotham, wanna come with?

 

Me: Will you guys please pick me up some ? I can't leave clinic!

 

Intern: Sigh. I haven't taken Orgo yet.

A Night At The Museum

"Color and light. There's only color and light." -- Stephen Sondheim







Went to the Met on Friday night. Did some drawing, wandered around. Finally caught the Alexander McQueen exhibit and it was, in a word, phenomenal. Irritatingly packed with people who know zilch about museum etiquette and how to behave themselves in a gallery, but still phenomenal.

Once Shy, Twice Bitten

"A friend's not a cheap little phony creep or a jerk trying to make a deal. A friend is a person who, most of all, cares about what you feel. And nothing is harder than learning a friend isn't real." -- Jason Robert Brown

Once upon a time, a prince from a faraway land was riding through the forest when he happened across a beautiful young maiden. She was weeping.

"Why are you crying, o fair maiden?" asked the prince. She showed him her hand, which was mangled and covered in blood. "I was feeding a beast and he bit me."

The prince unsheathed his sword. "Where did he run? I'll slay him!" he roared.

The maiden scrambled to her feet and clutched the prince's robes. "No, don't!" she pleaded, tears forming anew. "He's my friend, and he's been hunted and persecuted for so very long."

The prince gazed into her eyes, moved by the maiden's concern for the savage animal. He pried her uninjured hand from his chest and turned it in his own, examining it carefully. "Your skin is covered with scars. Are they all from him?"

"Yes. I keep feeding him and he keeps biting me."

"Why not just stop feeding him, then?"

"He's a beast, and biting is simply what beasts do. He still deserves kindness. I can't expect him to change his nature for me!"

The prince peered off through the trees. "Beasts can be tamed," he said. "He does have the ability to not bite the hand that feeds him, but he just won't show that courtesy to you." The maiden was silent. "Have you told him how much it hurts when he bites you?" asked the prince.

"All the time."

"Does he promise to stop biting you?"

"Always."

"Does he actually stop?"

"For a while. Then he bites me again. It seems like he forgets that I don't like being bitten. Either that or he doesn't realize how badly he keeps hurting me."

The prince ripped a strip of linen from his hem and began to bandage the maiden's hand with it. "In the faraway land where I was born, friends don't bite their friends," he told her. "Friends detest causing each other pain. You call your beast a friend, but remember: beasts aren't capable of compassion. In fact, it sounds to me like he thinks of you more as a meal ticket than a friend."

He bound off the linen in a perfect square knot, kissed it, and returned her hand with a rueful smile. "I'd tell you that your beast should be the one patching you up right now, but he clearly lacks the thumbs necessary for the task."

The maiden blushed. The prince gazed at her for a moment longer, then turned to mount his horse. "You deserve better than this, my dear," he told her as he gathered up his reins. He gave his steed a gentle nudge and it began to canter away.

With the prince's words fresh in her mind, the maiden sat to contemplate their conversation. She rose again, however, when the hoof beats of the prince's horse ceased. "Oh maiden?" the prince called over his shoulder. "A word of advice... forget beasts. Try for a prince next time." He winked and galloped off.

The maiden never bothered with animals again. And she met many wonderful princes who always treated her with the love and respect that a human deserves. And when the beast inevitably returned to her looking for another meal -- because, after all, he only ever sought her company when he was hungry -- she braised him in wine and baked him into a pot roast.

The End.