No Better Feeling

"Brother, you can't go to jail for what you're thinking, or for the woo look in your eye. You're only standing on the corner watching all the girls go by." -- Frank Loesser

You know those blissful days when you put on a fabulous outfit and feel really great about yourself? So great, in fact, that you can’t help but strut down the street like it’s a catwalk? And, when the man of your dreams happens to be walking towards you along said street, you’re able to give him a saucy smirk and a cool “hey” instead of an incoherent mumble?

Only one thing can make that sort of day better… and that’s when the man of your dreams responds by giving a dorky salute and nearly colliding with a trash bin.

Bananas

"So many dreams that are finally coming true... now you finish me off when you finish my thoughts the way you do!" -- Patti Russo

One Doc in Particular has been craving bananas lately, so I've been making lots of trips to the fruit stand across the street where they're sold four for a dollar. As a result, I've developed an interesting rapport with the fruit stand's proprietor... one based entirely on crass innuendos about bananas.

Three weeks ago...

Me: What are your bananas like today?
Fruit Man: They're great! I've got big ones, little ones, fat ones. What kind do you want?
Me: I'll take those big ones. On top.
Fruit Man: Ah, the lady knows what she likes!

Last week...

Me: I'd like four bananas, please.
Fruit Man: I'm going to give you these. They're long and skinny, just like you.
Me: Uh... thanks?

This morning...

Me: I'm just going to grab four bananas today, thanks.
Fruit Man: Grabbing bananas is a wonderful way to start your day.
Me: I know. That's why I need so many!

Luckily, what I do for a living means I have zero shyness about urologic humor. Let's just hope my doc friend doesn't decide that he wants melons for breakfast any time soon.