Train-ing

"Schadenfreude: making the world a better place to be." -- Avenue Q

The most amazing thing happened on the subway today.

I get on the train at Times Square and sit down next to a blonde, skater-boy-looking kid in his early twenties. At 57th Street, an old man with a cane gets on the train and stands in front of me. I spot him after a moment, stand up, and offer him my seat.

"No thank you, sit down miss," he says. I sit again and the man smiles warmly at me. "That was very nice of you." He then points to the kid sitting next to me.

"YOU, on the other hand! Who do you think you are?! You should be ashamed of yourself, sitting there like a king while an old man has to stand. And you let a woman give up her seat before you did!"

The guy remains seated, still and rapidly paling, his mouth hanging open. The old man continues, "Who is your father? Didn't he teach you any manners? What kind of a home did you grow up in?"

This goes on and on until halfway through the tunnel to Queensborough Plaza, when the old man pauses in his rant. "And WHY are you still sitting there? GET UP!"

The kid jumps out of his seat and points to it, and the old man shakes his head. "No. I'm not sitting there. You see, I'm a gentleman. My father taught me manners." He turns to a woman standing next to him, offers her the seat, and after a courteous protest, she sits.

The kid starts to inch away, but the old man won't stand for that. He asks, "Where do you come from, with such bad manners?"
"Um, Africa."
"Really! I guess you can't be blamed, then. You must have to sleep with a machete to prevent people from stealing your possessions in the jungle."
"Um, yeah..."

We've reached Queensborough Plaza by now, and as soon as the doors open, the kid runs off the train as fast as he possibly can.