College Confidential

"Progress and changing, growing then giving up. Somehow, we're never quite prepared, but I understand it. When you need a friend, you could count on anyone. But you know I'll defend the tragedy that we knew as the end." -- Brandi Carlile

Classes are back in full-swing at the metropolitan arm of the Ivy League, and for the first time ever, my days of attending them (or dreaming about attending them) are behind me. It's a surreal enough feeling that all of my friends seem to be blogging about it, so I thought I'd throw my hat into the ring as well.

In terms of academics, I was damn proud to call myself a biomedical engineer when I started college and I'm damn proud to call myself a biomedical engineer today. I loved nearly every aspect of what I studied, my courses spoiled The Mad Scientist part of my personality rotten for years, and I can't wait to return to my roots to truly work as a BME someday. Yeah, it would have been nice to have some time to take some art classes or finish my English minor or actually breathe during college, but I can't even entertain the thought of studying something else now that I know what I'm capable of surviving. I'm a BME now and forever... I'm just doing something else for a living until the world catches up with me.

My college extracurriculars followed the same pattern as they did in high school: I started off with a few carefully chosen organizations, then all of a sudden and with no recollection of how it happened, I found myself involved in everything. I loved being involved in as much as humanly possible, though -- I'd rather not sleep than see something pass without my input -- so no hard feelings there.

I dreaded living on my own before college -- after all, no one in my family ever has -- but now I can't wait to get back out there and reclaim my life again. I learned how to cook, how to iron, how to balance a checkbook, how to hold down a job and classes and still find time for play, how to eat for a week on twenty bucks, how to manage my time and a household. I started college a scared kid and left college a completely independent woman with a perfect sense of who I am and how I like to live. I never thought in a million years that I would ever make a good wife or a good roommate, but now I'm sure I would.

I'd like to say that I graduated with no regrets, but there are certainly a few things I would change if I could do it all over again. I wish I had made friends during my first two years of college; maybe I would have spent more nights out having fun and fewer nights alone and miserable in my dorm room. I wish I had formed study groups early on instead of trying to do every problem of every homework assignment by myself for three semesters; maybe my GPA would have been high enough to actually get into a Ph.D program right away. I wish I had the courage to act on my feelings when I found someone attractive; a few lives would certainly be different today. I try to tell myself that everything happens for a reason -- if life didn't play out the way it did, maybe I would have turned out less self-reliant, less respectable, less well-rounded, possibly pregnant. However, considering that the friends, coursework teams, and personal relationships I eventually made were all directly responsible for the awesomeness of the second half of my college experience, it's pretty easy to silence that voice of reason.

However, the fact remains: the second half of college, especially senior year, was AMAZING. The time since has been amazing as well (albeit in entirely different ways), mainly because the people I met and things I learned in school have carried over into my post-college existence. If college did nothing for me aside from decorating the set and populating the cast of characters of the sitcom of my life, that's more than enough to make it all worthwhile.